你和佛陀之间只隔着一条线

这是在《星洲日报》介绍过的一本书，前几天在大众书局看到。

最主要告诉我们的是，学佛不是什么都不要，而是在拥有的时候，以平常心看待。“只要我们懂得不执著的去感谢一切，所有的过程和体验都是美好的。为何我们要去执著或强求这种甜蜜和感动，要永远不变地重复出现？”作者是想厘清许多学佛者的盲点，不只是拘于形式教条，而是以更明觉的心，全然接受生活中的每一个当下。

值得一读。

And Now...

Thanx to xiao zhang, i hav another dhamma camp to join next week, at Alokalama Retreat Centre, situated near Tangkak. (though it is inside Tampin district, my hometown!!)... Can hardly miss the camp coz it may be the place i will always drop in after start working at malacca. The search for places to continue learning dhamma and get along with Kalyana Mitra (spiritual friends).. Miss them all ever since i left penang... The decision is quite hard, coz i have to give up the first week of practical at HUSM, no pain, no gain.

3 days ago I made a decision to do something that will help me to gain more flexibility in life later, so I can join whatever camps or programs I want to.. To ensure that I never stray away from the right path in life... Thanx to my 4 years uni life that nurtures, equips and cultivates me to understand myself better and become more contented in life... Ha... not wasting the four precious years... coz sometimes feel that I'm really.. OLD already... marching to 24. Am I still the same like past?? Maybe have to be more responsible in life, ain't a student to make stupid decisions and mistakes anymore. To be responsible to myself, my parents, my younger siblings, my beloved friends, my future counterparts and patients.

At home... really really enjoy... sweet sweet time... Please, please, please, allow me to stay near to my hometown... please...

花

他在为工作埋头忙碌过冬季后，终于获得了两个礼拜的假期。他老早计划好要利用这个机会到一个风景佳丽的观光胜地去，泡泡音乐厅、交些朋友、喝些好酒，随心所欲地休息一番。

临行前一天下班回家，他十分兴奋地整理行装，把大小箱子放进轿车的车厢里。第二天早上出发前，他拨个电话给母亲，告诉她去度假的主意。她说：“你会不会顺路经过我这里，我想看看你，和你聊聊天，我们很久没有团聚了。”

“妈，我也想去看你，可是我有点赶，与人约好见面的时间。”他说。
“那就算了。你好好地去玩吧，我会惦记着你。”

当他开车正要上高速公路时突然想起今天是母亲的生日。于是他绕回一段路停在一间花店门前，打算买些鲜花。

店里有个小男孩正买好一把玫瑰，在付账时，小男孩面有愁容，因为他发现所带的钱不够，少了十块钱。

他问小男孩：“这些花是作什么用的？”
小男孩说：“送给我妈妈，今天是她的生日。”

他拿出十元钞票为小男孩凑足了花钱。小男孩很快乐地说：“谢谢你，先生。”
他说：“没关系，今天也是我母亲的生日。”

他选好一打玫瑰、半打康乃馨和半打黄菊花；付了钱，写下他母亲的地址，然后发动车，继续上路。

仅仅开出一小段路，转过一个小山坡时，他看见刚才那个小男孩，跪在一个小墓碑前，把玫瑰花摊在碑上。小男孩也看见他，挥手说：“先生，我妈妈喜欢我给她的花。谢谢你，先生。”

他开回花店，找回老板，问道：“刚才那两打花是不是已经送走了？”
老板摇头说：“还没有。”
“不用麻烦你了，”他说：“我自己去送。”


亲情是我们在世上感受到的第一份爱。
如果可以，我希望亲情能够陪伴我一生一世，
可是。。。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

以前有订阅《少年》两年。
最近把它们翻出来看，重温很多，曾经令我感动的文字。
坚持要回家乡工作，希望可以多呆在家人身旁。
曾几何时，想过如果父母离开我了，我真的会很伤心。
趁现在，珍惜。好好珍惜。


父亲节快乐。

笑话

阿妹的实验报告如下：
实验目的：证明蜘蛛用腿听声音。
实验材料：小刀一把、蜘蛛一只、桌一张。
实验过程：
1. 将蜘蛛放在桌上，冲它大吼一声“爬！”
现象：蜘蛛开始爬动。
2. 用小刀将蜘蛛腿全部去掉，冲它大吼一声“爬！”
现象：蜘蛛一动不动。
实验结论：蜘蛛用腿听声音。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
这是我近期看到最残忍的笑话。

My plan

Just back from 4 buddhist camps, contented. Will rest at home for 3 weeks, then go to kelantan HUSM for practical for a month, then go redang with previous PPB friends, then fly back to kl (my first time!)... then wait for convo and posting... then start working as PRP (Provisional Registered Pharmacist)...


Now at home, plan to do revision before start working... to refresh the memories, without going to work with nothing in mind... Also plan to brush up my driving skill... and look for places with dhamma class and activities... to ensure i still walk on this path...

Recieved my result, ha... +0.5... can graduate for sure...

During last camp, approached many seniors for consultation, to get use to the coming working world... There will be many challenges and problems coming forward, so have to learn to be patient, and be a sponge to grap as much as i can. Have to learn to receive critics nicely, to learn from anyone experienced than me... Gambatte!!

告别'试'

闷热的下午，四号风扇只是把热空气推到我身上，让我感觉到有风，而已。
才从十五分钟的午觉醒过来，不想回到《Pharmacotherapy》上，所以眼睁睁地看着天花板发两分钟的呆。
（这时Housemate小胖拿了偷拍我刚才睡“大字型”的照片给我看。删除无效。）

再过两天就是我大学最后一张考试。转眼间，在当了十七年的学生后，我就要告别“只要把书读好”的日子了。接下来就是身份转移的过渡期。

当学生是很轻松的，不需背负任何责任，只要把学生的本分做好，可以在学习的前提下尽量犯错，尽量被提醒，尽量享受无忧无虑，自由自在的日子。当学生是很快乐的，除了让人寝食难安的考试，其余日子都是很很很快乐的。我即将告别这快乐的日子，去承担更重大的责任了。换句话说，我即将告别只是接受恩惠的日子，去给予别人服务了。

（在此要感谢两位当小学教师的父母，从小学就给我打好基础，让我在过后的学习都得心应手，且除了专心学习以外不必烦恼任何事。有时在想，我的责任只是把书读好，如果连这么小事都做不到那就很惭愧了。幸亏一直以来我都没让他们失望，哈。）

这次的考试读得很开心，因为主要不是为了准备考试，而是为将来的工作准备。懂多一些，就能让工作顺利一些，帮助病人多一些。以前考试都是很期待考完试当天可以去Happy Hour，这次呆在家读书也蛮享受的。（不过也安排了考完试的节目。）反正我准备在做工前要“重温旧识”，适逢考试能鞭策我更专心读，何乐不为。
要去做工了，爸妈应该蛮开心吧。离乡背井，家人已经习惯我的不存在，感觉上我离开家很久了。回家时会与他们有“代沟”，因为很久没update近况。所以每次回去都会猛问“最近家里有发生什么事吗？”“你很希望家里有事吗？”哈。

回去计划买一辆车，要学会自己驾车去上班，要学会不要一直死火，要赚钱养家。哈哈，蛮期待的，因为还没有体验到做工的辛苦。可是再辛苦，再被上司骂也要工作，所以，乐观点，神经大条点比较好。
加油！工作的朋友，我要加入你们的行列了！

I ♥ Penang Life

I'll miss here badly.
3 weeks to come and i'll leave here.
4 years of wonderful memories...

Miss the place: The 2 dollar shop i always treat myself in, mushroom rice at pekaka, yam rice at bali bali, pharmacy school, DKX and DKY, PPB cubicel, DKU where LG held, BT where DSG is going on, Library PHSI with clean toilet, the roundabout, the beautiful trees and sights, the USM museum, the bustop where i spent much time on, Subaidah and its roti pisang + tosei... further places: Pantai Kerachut, KekLokSi, Bkt Bendera, Komtar, Gurney Hotel (Pharmnite), Bt Feringgi, ThanHsiangSi, Explanet...

Miss the people: All my coursemates, esp those close to me and sit beside me during kuliah, those in my clerkship group where we had much fun and interesting learning, those accompanying me to school. All my housemates in Kalyana Mitra Home and ex-housemates at U Height 97-14-2 and Saujana 6-25. All my friends in PPB, juniors and seniors, esp FW5 and FW7 members... All my friends in Tzu Ching... All my friends i know and met before...

Miss the sound, the view, the life...

So lucky i am to spend part of my life here.


DK: Dewan Kuliah
LG: Lumbini Garden
BT: Bilik Tutorial
DSG: Dhamma Sharing Group
PHSI: Perpustakaan Hamzah Sendut I
USM: Universiti Sains Malaysia... Ha
PPB: Persatuan Pelajar Buddhist
FW: Facilitator Workshop

The Beauty of Journals

From long time before i was exposed to the importance of reading up journals to complete our assignments and build up knowledge, but i always ignore it. Who has the free time to read something so dull and those incomprehendible study design? God has.

Till i pay library a visit today. Since this may be the last time, i linger there for a whole day. Went to "Majalah Kini" session, checking up journals. First, Journal of Photography, cool... interesting pictures and articles... Then try to look for those related to my future career... well, not so interested in those purely black n white... glance through...picked up "American Journal of Health-System Pharmacy", flipped a few pages. Some articles pertaining role of pharmacist and ways to perform clinical interventions caught my eye. I like those stuffs... clarify my future direction and ways to perform better as a pharmacist, optimize our contribution to the healthcare system.

This is the first time i get interested in journals. I miss all the previous issues. Now is the time to leave pharmacy school, and is the time to know more about future prospect. Remember previous 4 years of studying, studying and studying just to pass the exams with...not flying, but at least not crawling colours... Study hard for those possible appearing in exam... others... wait till i have the time... Now i will like to study to serve my future patients better.

Next week is the exam week... the last exam in my life (if not mistaken)...

Gambatte to myself and everyone, esp all my coursemates (for 4 years long)!! \(^o^)/

Long time no see...

Just back from a gathering of previous faci workshop members.. enjoyed...

I'm gonna really miss them when i leave penang, soon.
Planning for redang trip at july, hope it will come true.
Everyone seems maintaining the same way of speaking, laughing... still很有亲切感。
And when PPB needs support, everyone giv a helping hand without hesistating much.
That's the spirit of PPB alumni...
Talk much nonsense, but fun, brings everyone together.
Miss you all and i'm looking forward for the next!

我的空间

最近在My Space开始用英文写东西。用英文的好处是，不用费心去推敲词句，就用26个字母组成我现在的想法，比较freestyle。华文对我是个很直接且熟悉的语文，在打字较慢的情况下酌量字词的适合度，让文句工整优美些。

无论如何，还是有一些心里的话比较能用母语表达。

You Raise Me Up

Lyric: Grah Am, Brend An Composer: Lovland, Rolf

When I am down and all my soul so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then I am still await here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be

~~~~~~
This song, reminds me…
When you facing difficulties and unhappiness,
How do you get through it? Who do you think of?
From an innocent don’t-know-all to more matured thinking,
Many people and things around contributed to this.
Thank you all. I will keep growing.

Consider a free week...

Yesterday finished the interview by SPA and KKM, signaling the first step into the working world in government hospital. The interview session is not scary or heart-pumping as i thought, i didn't get nervous in the whole process, except when knowing that other counterparts prepared it for a few days while i have only a few hours left to go. Luckily my poor preparation do not affect the performance much. As a reminder from a friend, we are not to take granted that we'll sure pass the interview easily, but to know better about our future job environment and policies.


I lost the important key in my life, the one hanging on my necklace since 21th yrs old, given by my beloved family members, before attending my grandma's funeral. Despite its value of platinum, the key means a lot to me. It symbolized my family that will always be with me whenever i go, whatever i do. Now i'll have them in heart.

Goodbye

On the way back from a gathering at midnite, i received the news that grandma passed away, despite the latest news that her condition was stabilized. Had prepare for the worse but don't know that it was so fast. After the call don't feel terribly upset as i expected (felt abit rare too).


Finally burst out tears on the bus brought me from penang to home the next day, after listening to Jay 青花瓷~炊烟袅袅升起 隔江千万里...I'm quite closed to my grandma, seeing her every week when i was in hometown. Although not fully understand what she talks, i can feel that she is very happy to see us.

Seeing her in the coffin. Apparently losing weight and size after a series of surgeries. She must be suffered before going.

I don't feel very sad actually, juz regretted that she didn't enjoy much when alive. Didn't have the chance to go travelling coz walking difficulty. One of my aunt cried and regretted that her plan to celebrate grandma's birthday never come true. Many family members and relatives came to pay salute in the funeral, and the ceremony is quite grand, everyone was here. It will be more meaningful if everyone gathers here like now when she is still alive, actually. All sorts of car, cash, condominium, maid, radio burned for her is not needed if she is not reborn as ghost. The long and complicated ceremony done is more for comforting the remaining, to make us feel better.

I still have many things to tell grandma, many things to share with her. But hope i've tried my best to sayang her before this. Hope that she gets to a well place, reborn in a good family, be happy.

Appreciate those beside you, esp family, when they are still beside you.

U'll be ok.

Today feels abit complicated.


My 88 yo grandma went in surgery ward to remove the fecal covering underlying tumor that cause unresolved stomach bloating. Cancer, and she is 88. Success rate 50/50. My parents are in mlk hospital right now. Think of goin back to see her, but my dad discouraged me. "What can u contribute if u r here?" In fact, they will be quite worry each time i travel between penang and home. I don't know that, thought i have nothing to make them worry about, since i can take quite good care of myself. Suddenly feel that i must really make sure nothing bad happens to me, as they will be really sad n depressed. I'll try my best.

While at home i back to grandma's place once a week, with my parents. Each time we will not stay very long. I can't really have effective conversation with her coz i'm not good at speaking her dialect. And she can't really listen clearly to us. Actually if can i really wanna know what she is thinking, how does she feel...

So now abit regret that i didn't spend much time to know her better.. do something to make her happy..

Hope that she will not suffer much pain now, feel better.

And to everyone, esp my family n friends, TAKE GOOD CARE, please.

Living and Studying...

Seldom have free free time for myself, tend to fill in the gaps completely... esp when rushing... abandoned many good habits i tried to nurture since last sem: a brief sitting (just sitting n relax, without doing or thinking other things, a short meditation) after waking, then hav a few pages of book to fill in my mind, while havin a sip of hot drink in the meantime. i like to advice others to sleep early, wake up early, healthy habit bla bla bla... but nowadays i tend to sleep late, can't wake up early the next day as planned. A bit running out of my ideal life. Nothing put me into that, i let myself to be like this... so, blame no one and try do something. Do u wan yo life to carry on like this?

Apart from that, my life is still organized, contented juz as before. My wonderful university life is about to reach an end. Next Monday will be my last kuliah in school... After that, no more. I'm not going to be happy about this. Since young we hate school, class, homeworks, but now felt that being spoonfeed by somebody else is a privilege. Soon some ppl'll goin to knock on my head or make my easy life become uneasy... esp with my underqualified qualification. I'M GONNA WORK HARD ON THIS!

From my primary, secondary, tertiary school up to 3rd yr in university i study for the sake of studying. Since when, i started to study for my future profession. The more i know, the better i serve the patients, the more i can contribute. So, now i actually enjoy study very much. It's a pleasure having time to equip myself more, out of stress, for now.

Oath of a Pharmacist

At this time, I vow to devote my professional life to the service of all humankind through the profession of pharmacy.

I will consider the welfare of humanity and relief of human suffering my primary concerns.
I will apply my knowledge, experience, and skills to the best of my ability to assure optimal drug therapy outcomes for the patients I serve.
I will keep abreast of developments and maintain professional competency in my profession of pharmacy.

I will maintain the highest principles of moral, ethical, and legal conduct.

I will embrace and advocate change in the profession of pharmacy that improves patient care.
I take these vows voluntarily with the full realization of the responsibility with which I am entrusted by the public.

平凡如我

我是一个很很很平凡的人。样貌平凡、身材平凡、家境平凡、性格平凡、生活平凡、一切都很平凡。
身边总会出现一些不平凡的人。报章上更常出现。
读着他人的故事，羡慕他们能发挥与超脱自己。欣赏他们勇于自我挑战。
而我，每天呼吸一样的空气，喝一样的水，只是可能想些不一样的事。

淡淡的，未尝不是一件好事。
只是会期待生活中出现一道 不知源自何处的彩虹。

新年快乐。

You Raise Me Up

Lyric: Grah Am, Brend An Composer: Lovland, Rolf

When I am down and all my soul so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then I am still await here in the silence
Until you come and sit awhile with me

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be



This song, reminds me…
When you facing difficulties and unhappiness,
How do you get through it? Who do you think of?
From an innocent don’t-know-all to more matured thinking,
Many people and things around contributed to this.
Thank you all. I will keep growing.

一朵小花♥

有一次，我们看到杂草里面长出一朵小花，非常可爱。
“很美吧？”
“嗯，可是好小。”
外婆立刻对我说：“在蚂蚁看来，很大呢。”
然后，她表情非常温柔地轻轻抚摸那朵花：
“花店的花都有人施肥，又有人照顾，长得大是自然。这朵花虽然很小，但靠自己的力量努力开出的花，才最美丽。

《佐贺的超级阿嬤》

我是这样的

我是怎样的人？
想法不太会转弯，所以慢几拍。
会先相信朋友的话，会先怀疑陌生人的话。
有时顾虑太多，变成婆妈。
很在意别人的眼光，有时会人前不一。
喜欢关心别人，自己也需要被关心。
是好人的时间比是坏人的时间多。
喜欢让大家发笑，若大家没笑会有点冷。
在不擅长的地方容易信心不足。需要别人的肯定。
看到自己的小进步时会很开心，并能借此肯定自己。
我蛮喜欢，也能接受这样的自己。给我选我要做回我自己。（以前内向时期我想成为其他人〕
我多数时候是快乐的。^_^

你是怎样的人？

最近啊~

好久好久没来这里了，还差点忘了呢。

最近，也是很平淡的心情，很简单地过生活。我的生活是一帆风顺的，不会有什么大风大浪。有时在想，改天若是不顺利了会习惯吗？因为没什么被磨炼过。

到了大四觉得自己越来越想家，也不是想要回家，而是家人，特别是父母，在我心目中原来是那么重要的。有时在坐车时会不自觉想到爸爸就在我身边，默默地，载着我去吃东西。坐下来吃东西也没什么讲话，可是就是那感觉，很好，很幸福。喜欢在爸爸看报纸时注意他的背影，在妈妈睡觉时凝视她的面孔。同样在一个空间里，就会觉得很满足。回到槟城，他们是时时刻刻住在我心中。

之前参与了药剂师宣誓仪式。再多几个月我就是正式的药剂师。以前没有选择医科是不要以后过着很压力的生活，希望可以轻轻松松过下辈子。到头来，成为药剂师好像也没那么轻松。我怕，怕不能表现得很好，怕会害惨病人。自从上个学期成绩大跌后信心大失，知识掌握不够，不能很好地运用。哭也哭过了，只能勉励自己不要忽略自己认为不重要的东西，因为，每一个都是重要的。之前读书方式是选一些自己认为感兴趣的来读，背不起的就轻易放弃。所以虽然也花很多时间在读书，但不能应付考试运用。除了学识，我想，真正想为大众服务的精神是重要的。宣誓内容要我们立志为病人拔苦，把大众的利益放在第一位。我能做到吗？还是只是嘴巴照念？从以前就常对朋友说，读药剂系不是我真正想要的，比较喜欢的是设计等能发挥创意的科系。不过这一刻，突然觉得我选这科是对的，可以为社会尽一点点心力，可以让其他人健康舒服一点，可以让已在苦痛的病人真正享受到用药的疗效，是很有意义的。

最近常有一个比较不同的思维模式，在做每样事情或选择前，问自己为什么要这样做。如果都不知道为什么要做，做来干嘛？譬如：我在赶报告，赶报告的原因只是为了应付教授吗？换一个想学习的心态，感觉就会不同了。这些一直都是很浅显的道理，只是大脑没什么思考的我时常忽略这一点，到头来，尽管是做着有意义的事，但却做得起烦恼。

最近身边的朋友发生很多事，从他们的经历体会到不少，虽然不是亲身经历，但能体会到他们的苦痛，让一切顺利的我也开始思考一些事情。我们不知道是明天先到还是下一世先到，可是还是很随心所欲地挥霍生活。哈。

下星期会去学校的毕业晚会Pharmnite，第一次穿晚装扮美美。期待能拍些美美的照片回来。